i fell asleep on the red line this afternoon. i apologize to the old black lady who probably saw me with a modest amount of droolio in the corner of my mouth circa 4:30 this afternoon. and i apologize to the guy at the starbucks across the street from work who had to slog through the following conversation with me:
me: can i get a large iced coffee?
guy: with or without sweetener (he said this clearly and fairly audibly. i did not understand, so i’ll display his lines as i heard them)
me: i’m sorry?
guy: how much do they pay you to fuck that bear?
me: aah
guy: blargle sweetener
me: i mean, uh, i want cream and sugar in it, yes
guy: no, look, do you want flananaswannananan or flargle
me: you mean the sugar goo?
guy: (still calm but clearly hitting silent alarm button underneath counter and preparing for violence if necessary) do you want it sweetened or not?
me: (suspicious) no… yes… yes.
guy: ok?
me: i’m sorry i’m not really carrying my end of this that well
guy: i understand
totally get sweetened. it sounds like it will be nasty, but it’s not. it’s extremely delicious. perhaps diabetes-inducing, but i’m not pointing any fingers.
what???
what the hell was wrong with you?
what???
what the hell was wrong with you?