child’s christmas in wales

domino’s keeps putting these things on doorknobs in the logan square area and i don’t understand them. the first one, there was a guitar, depicted in such a way as to appear to be flying or hovering over a philly cheesesteak pizza with the caption (i n a sort of 57 chevy font) “STILL JAMMIN'”. i still don’t understand who they were trying to target with that, or if they were trying to insinuate that fans of old-timey rock music should consider the philly cheesesteak pizza an American classic on par with malts and bobby socks or whatever.

but now, there’s a new knob thing from domino’s and i understand it even less: there is a cartoon drawing of a leopard who appears to be wearing a boxer’s ring robe, and he has his paw to his chin and his head is cocked in contemplation, and there are small thought bubbles leading out of his head to a larger thought bubble, which is not a thought bubble but a baseball? WHY IS IT A BASEBALL? and inside the baseball it says the following things: “Ketto x Kedd Iki x Sali Dois x Terca-Feira Twee x Dinsdag x Dwa x Wtorek” and many other less popular foreign expressions that translate to “TWOFER TUESDAY” which it says in garish arty font at the bottom. BUT WHY IS THERE A BASEBALL AND A CONTEMPLATIVE LEOPARD DRESSED LIKE A BOXER?

that’s all. i’m going to radio silence until i solve this fucking mystery. also, i went out for a while and there was a guy with his dog in the park and the dog was named asshole. as far as i could tell anyway. someone give me something to do for the intervening three hours before i go see the white sox.

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