I hate to sound like a broken record but once again, I don’t understand the world going on around me. I’m sitting in the intern cage at a magazine that will remain unnamed and i don’t particularly have anything to do. nor have i had anything to do for large swathes of the past several days. and how does that make me feel? well, a bit bored. i decided my new goal in life is to open a small bar that serves pizza by the slice and middle-brow salads to hungry winos somewhere in the midwest. this bar project does not yet have a working title. possibly Operation Barstaurant? here are some more details about this bar:
the salads will have kalamata olives in them, with the pits still in. there will be, at any given time, 10 salad choices. one of them will have a non-standard meat choice. five of the ten salads will have chicken in them. but not breaded chicken. just sort of non-standard shaped pieceds of grilled, or sometimes broiled chicken breast. some times the chicken will taste like pretzels on the outside and in some situations, curry may be involved. there aren’t going to be any tortilla strips. and no small orange slices in the salads either. but there might be grapes. no raisins. some plums. maybe all the salads shouldn’t have kalamata olives in them. christ i need something to do. but consider this a warning shot: i am coming to drop bombs on your house and value system and these bombs have ADVANCED DEGREES in salad. this is such a good idea. who wants to invest in my barstaurant? i figure all i need is $500,000 to do it right. i;ll pledge $20 right off the bat. don’t think you’ve heard the last of this shit.