do you hear me, sir? they’re good for your bowels, sir.

actual transcript from actual job inteview
q: what is your favorite word.
a: (long pause) uh. crepe. (i’m not sure if i meant crepe paper or crepe, the pastry.)
q: what is your least favorite sound?
a: (very long pause) floor sanders
q: why is that?
a: well i worked at night last year. and during the day for one week, they sanded the floor above my apartment. because they probably thought everyone was at work.
q: and you were trying to sleep.
a: but i couldn’t.
q: what is your favorite sound.
a: pedal steel guitar.
q: what is your dream car?
a: (zero hesistation) 1986 toyota tercel hatchback.
q: any particular reason?
a: it’s a beautiful vehicle.
q: if you could run your own business with no restrictions, what would it be?
a: (considering appropriateness of the truth) a bar that serves salad. and has a lending library.
q: if you could have lunch with anybody living or dead…
a: (medium pause) abe lincoln. well, maybe i should pick a living person. no, actually, i’ll stick with abe lincoln.
q: why?
a: well, i’d like to pick his brain. and he’s dead, so the ghost angle would be sort of interesting.

i feel like i handled the situation pretty well. i’m wearing a dishrag tie again.

2 thoughts on “do you hear me, sir? they’re good for your bowels, sir.”

  1. if you really said all that, i think we can safely say you’ve got the job. let me be the first to congratulate you. faggot.

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