bigger than the state of kansas, or missouri or oklahomaaaa

as always i recommend that you get down with the detraktor with myself in a kameo role. apparently there’s some kind of baseball game tonight and (!) it’s being televised.

director of in america signs on to 50 Cent biopic. makes sense.

from “only funny/funnier because i wasnt the white guy(s) in question” file:
two braceswearing nerday white teenagers get on train somewhere in lower mnhttn, wearing soccer gear and clutching spikes and talking excitedly about pokemon or chaste love or something, in a genial if offensively unashamed manner.

dude with orthopedic-style cane, otherwise dressed like member of boyz II men circa 1996: (singing) THE SOCCER KIDS ARE HERE!
long pause
guy with cane: are you guys going to go to college?
soccer nerds: polite smile. return to pokemon.
guy: you have to study hard, get into a good school. (derisively) yaaale. haaarrrvard. those are good schools. GOOD MIDDLE SCHOOLS. I WENT TO IOWA. BIG TEN. STATE SCHOOL. HAAAWKEYEZ. (mumbled obscenities)
soccer kids: obviously considering switching cars. no response.
long pause
guy: UNDER PRESSURE, COMING DOWN ON ME, COMING DOWN ON uh …. ME…. UNDER PRESSURE! (sings bassline)
soccer kids: get off train.
guy: starts rapping about how he can’t be stopped; transcendence of him

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