hearts and minds

Not Bobby Hebert
mostly i wanted to post a comment to the words/deeds of ben and others. the main purpose of that comment was to point out that ny times editorial writer bob herbert and former new orleans saints QB bobby hebert (not pictured above) have very similar names. which would have been a smokescreen to my secret, ultimate reason for a comment: to complain that you can blame the weird values point (1), or you can say that all evangelical christians are OK with lying, or don’t know the truth, or insert dead-horse-beating here. but the fact of the matter is that bush kicked the shit out of kerry. you can’t say that everything would have been different had the weather been better in ohio or if young people had actually voted (i think they did, actually). then we would have had a president who lost the popular vote by four points– which would have been better, probably, but sort of the death knell of representative democracy. people are always going to buy into labelling, and the suggesting to just find a bigger and better candidate (read: have bill clinton grow old-timey beard, claim his name is phil clanton from two towns over) with a “better message” is not the answer. that the’s goddamn gil thorpe answer– the other team is cheating, so let’s us just commend ourselves to god and try harder. now it’s time for liberals to learn how to fuck with people. when the going gets weird, the weird go pro, or whatever HST said. first thing we need to do is fire the NY Times as the party organ, or sort-of-organ and hire the NY Daily News.

i’m just piling on here, and it’s easier to criticize bobby hebert and company’s mopery than it is to develop some kind of viable political strategy. so it’s a good thing that’s not my job, because i have no intention of spending any more time thinking about it. but my main point still stands: being a sore loser in defense of liberty is a vice. and frankly, i’m starting to think nader was right? i can’t defend myself anymore.

also, when i was looking for a picture of bobby hebert, i was reminded that i really, really liked the saints when i was a kid. mostly because of the cajun-themed hebert. and rickey jackson’s non-standard spelling and facemask. and pat swilling. and ray zellars. and craig heyward. and jim mora. i remember they finally made it to the playoffs with steve walsh at the helm and then the late-neal-anderson era bears just shitbeat them. maybe steve walsh was on the bears. what was supposed to be so great about steve walsh anyway? all i remember is that he had an arm like tom goodwin. i have to go do something. but save a prayer for the 1989-1994 New Orleans Saints tonight. They would do no less for you.

End Notes
1. If the morals gulf was the mark of cain or whatever on the Papist candidacy, and if anyone wants to claim credit for that, why didn’t that question get more heat in pre-election poll results? well, because people have to say somethign was the reason they lost, which i guess was the point of the whole post.

“Sensational Saints” http://members.tripod.com/ ~nflimages01/saintsimages.html, American, c.2004

4 thoughts on “hearts and minds”

  1. dead-horse beating aside, there’s these factors:

    1) wind surfing
    2) snow boarding
    3) exotic-sounding wife
    4) duck hunting excursion that looked more painful than all of those torture techniques
    on that Wu Tang song combined (“I’m gonna sew your asshole shut and keep feeding ya” etc)

    all of this adds up to a strange pick for leader of this country at this time. we’re all
    idiots, or at least i am, so i won’t second guess the Iowegians, to whom I owe many
    thanks for leaving me money in the tip jar of the gas station I worked at from 14 to 16, but still . . .
    you’re going to counter bush gunning his chainsaw with his carharts on down in crawford
    with a six foot five sixty three year old carving powder while vacationing at
    his ultra-exclusive Idaho getaway? kerry looks like he has servants or some shit.

  2. I’m crying foul here, since you know I can’t blog until whenever the produkts server crawls out from under the weight of johnny damon thai sex cruise searches. However I will say that I too have noted the hebert/herbert trompe l’oeil, and secretly believe that the staff photo is a smokescreen in tandem with an incredibly unimaginative pen name. for the former 11-5 1993 saints qb. plus i think dr. he(r)bert is right about moral values, inasmuch as I don’t see why they would have shifted so much in the last 4 years. it’s not like al gore was a paragon of catholic virtue, if you see what i mean. i don’t really want to argue about this anymore, since the election is over. i kind of rooted for those saints too and remember when they drafted lorenzo neal, and thinking at the time that his name wasn’t lorenz o’neal, and that that was kind of weird.

  3. i wrote a terrific response to this post but it didn’t go. points:

    1. hebert/herbert. yes i noticed that.
    2. al gore wasn’t conservative, and people liked him, and i don’t think they changed their minds, so i believe Bob(by) H.
    3. I don’t care all that much about (2) anymore.
    4. I liked those saints also. They had lorenzo neal, not to be confused with the fictional fabricated by then-me, lorenz o’neal.

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