No Coast Offense


offensive coaching staff and personnel slowly getting a handle on the On Vacation From Being Unemployed Already playbook recently introduced. Working about as well as one might expect. I eat more cookies recently than previously, previously being the time when the cookies were not free and over there, on the table. Also spending more time drafting text messages to people and then not sending them because they are not perfectly apropos of some emotion being conjured up by the episode of Law and Order i have been watching. There is a secret anarchism inside most late period Law & Order. I do not pay enough attention to this but I blame Lorenzo Carcaterra who seems like he would run good odds on being some kind of nihilist in his personal life. (Italian?)

Character development in approx 25 hours of Law & Order
:: The manvoiced blond assistant DA seems to have attended a fake Ivy League School. i base this on her saying she took classes taught by the fake Alan Dershowitz character who defended the pot-selling grad student who murdered a cabbie who was also an incognito KKK assassin. he murdered because he wanted to die (the grad student).

:: One time Sam Waterston said “I do what my job requires of me” and then it was suggested that he found Holocaust Denial an especially unappealing concept and maybe that meant he was Jewish. But then i noticed that he experiences moral outrage every .51 episodes.

:: Briscoe likes coffee

i think i am going to take up a collection from guys on the street to run FBI background checks on Cedric Benson and Matt Leinart. Also, I am reading John Dos Passos for unclear reasons (have no other books with me– this is actually fairly clear now that I think it through) and i’ll go ahead and say this isn’t especially good. i had a longer explanation for that (not true. it was longer but it was mostly jokes) but i remained encouraged that when i write a book, someone will like it, because a lot of people liked this book, and it isn’t as interesting, to me, as the idea of me writing a book is.

Major social changes 1910-2005
:: Less sleeping with hookers
:: Less referring to guys as “bo”
:: Labor movement destroyed
:: Slightly less racism, or at least for different reasons

2 thoughts on “No Coast Offense”

  1. 1. ADA Stopsignface’s storyline with her old professor is actually a complicated intratextual reference/ripoff to/from the great ending of the Jill Hennessey storyline, except there the professor was also a judge and her dad and had like condemned a dude for death for some reason I can’t remember and she ended up dying in Lenny Briscoe’s arms.

    2. Sam Waterson is actually supposed to be the Irish son of an Irish beat cop. For a while, they also tried to give him a drinking problem, but I think someone finally noticed that a) this was kind of offensive and b)Irish beat cops and drinking problems are only timely thematic grist for shows set in Magical Oldetimeyville. Waterson’s righteous indignation is actually a late-date graft from the previous DA, Michael Moriarty, who left the show to become completely insane in Canada. Waterson began his career on the show as kind of a Byronic antihero.

    3. Lenny Briscoe also likes pool! And mobsters!

    Addendum: Please explain “Civil War” by Guns n Roses in 300 words or less.

    Addenum 2: MOISES ALOU, GODDAMMIT.

    3.

  2. pete –

    your quality is diminishing? i think not. i am not loyal; loyal readers read out of loyalty; i read out of interest. and b/c i’m unemployed. you know who.

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