the Champion Within will burst forth

I don’t want to hear any of this shit about how the city of Philadelphia needs ego booster shots. The Sixers won a title in 1983, the Eagles made the Super Bowl in 1981, the Phillies won in 198something, the Flyers were extremely good in the 1970s and made at least one Cup Final in the late 90s, Heather Mitts plays for the Philadelphia Freedom (named after Elton John song?). I don’t want to hear this shit. Also, if you were being extra inclusive, the A’s used to play in Phila and they are perennial playoff contenders.

Cleveland can’t even get the respect it deserves as the biggest municipal loser. If i might indulge in a recap:
LOST:
1986 AFC Title Game on “The Drive”
1987 AFC Title Game on “The Fumble”
1989 AFC Title Game on “Neither One Drive or Fumble”
1994 AFC Div. Game on “Having Vinny Testaverde at QB”
2002 AFC Wild Card Game (to the #$&*^# Steelers) on a brutal defensive collapse

The Browns have never played in a Super Bowl. Say what you will about the Eagles losing three straight title games: none of them were especially dramatic losses, they just got their asses handed to them. The worst part about the Browns’ title game losses is that they were much better than Denver in ’86 and ’87. Also THEY MOVED THE TEAM TO BALTIMORE.

Don’t even get me fucking started about the Indians. The 1997 World Series never happened. And I still maintain that LeBron is going to be on the Lakers or limping like Larry Bird inside of five years. Paranoia is my emotional inheritance as a Cleveland sports fan.

But hey, we’ve got the 1994 NISL champion Cleveland Crunch featuring Hector Marinaro and the mighty Dave Hoggan, right?

i apologize for this. regularly scheduled weird content to resume momentarily

One thought on “the Champion Within will burst forth”

  1. Come now, Cleveland can’t really stand in need of an ego lift. If nothing else, it is hard to underestimate the pride one must feel in providing a home for the rock and roll hall of fame. Who knows how many major sports titles that alone is worth. As for the Browns, well, life is not without its challenges when God’s team is in your division.

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