These are heady times we live in. I spent about 15 minutes tonight bitching about the availability of off-brand seltzer water at the Hyde Park Co-Op. I did this complaining in the Hyde Park Co-Op while a guy in a purple fur coat loaded his cart with three-liter bottles of Wildwood grape soda, genetically modified strawberries, off-brand corn puff snacks, and a shitload of Palmolive. Something about his general demeanor made me think he was going to do something deeply immoral involving some or all of those purchases. The NCAA brackets came out and I have one word on the topic: New Mexico is winning at least three games. I have to watch Back to Bataan now as research for the forthcoming work of original fiction about the life of Stan Van Gundy. It doesn’t belong to me. It belongs to the American public.