brand names of shirts that i have in my closet:
Traditionalist
Puritan
Who knew I was a secret reactionary (raising hand)
This was going to be about Moby-Dick but it’s taken me three days to read the last 60 pages of the book for the third time. This is Christopher Walken for Skittles. I was also going to vent spleen but then I thought better of it. I’m going to pass out in a minute because all i ate today was weird soy crisps that tasted like astronaut airplane food.Think about it. i also ate all those olives. Can I have that wine glass please.
Pete Beatty 
Puritan shirts secretly rule. Hipster 101 in like, 2015.