There is no god but God


:: One nice thing about the White Sox doing well is that people are being honest with each other about certain disparities, at least in public discourse. Normally, you couldn’t get away with saying stuff like “no one, including people who live there, gives a shit about the south side” or “you’re all black and mexican, of course you’re poor and too busy killing each other to pay appropriate amounts of attention to your 2005 AL Champion Chicago White Sox.” still, certain myths are not being examined, the primary one being that there is actually a white sox nation and it’s not just the 80,000 people who took advantage of the dan ryan and mayoral protectorate status to keep bridgeport white, or white enough anyway. i have to grudgingly approve of the white sox of 2005, or at least the vaseline-lens version of the white sox, because this is after all a team powered by a black GM, hispanic manager and a startlingly untalented batting order of mixed-purpose white and black guys. being bad at your job but getting away with it is the new cleavage, at least to my tastes.

it doesn’t really matter whether or not the white sox can salt away two more wins; they’re already the prie-dieux in front of the tampa bay lightning/2001 patriots/detroit pistons triptych that completes your living room self-mortification altar set from ikea. just like joe crede can go from being “ex-prospect” to “quasi-competent” to “systematically underrated stud” with two lukewarm weeks, the white sox can go from “weird lie devised to torture indians fans” to “feel-good story about the triumph and perserverance of the will of blue-collar chicagoans.” i’m going to become an english teacher, by the way, just so everyone knows this. specifically one who teaches trembling children of privilege to disown their cultural inheritance for no real reason other than they might look good doing it.

9 thoughts on “There is no god but God”

  1. Don’t forget the slept-on “Bobby Jenks personal problems” story, that would/will be blaring at a time when Fox needs a story. You know what those problems are? HE WAS A MEMBER OF ARYAN YOUTH. The White Sox, unlike the Red Sox of last year, who carried the “idiot” banner, are a legitimate bunch of degenerate fuckups (led, obviously, by Pierzynski), and quite amusing.

  2. “From Cleveland by Lake Erie’s shore, those mighty Indians came, but to our Go-Go Boys, all tribes looked just the same.”

    –From a 1960 White Sox fight song that you can hear on WhiteSoxInteractive.com.

  3. I will also point out that your title is flawed: in “Groundhog Day,” Bill Murray, in character as Phil Connors, clearly states to Andie MacDowell that he is “a god” but not “The God.” I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul. You guess which one.

  4. does anyone else know why the wsox are the only team that has pollacks on it?

    do they recruit specifically to keep a couple of them on the roster or what? when was the time anyone had a pollack, let alone a couple of decent ones, playing MLB?

  5. Jake: Mientkiewicz won a world series ring last year.

    Jerry Reinsdorf apparently bought trips and tickets for every Sox employee for the games at Enron Field. Am I going to have to start liking that schmuck? Or can I just write it off as noblesse oblige.

  6. did anyone else catch the cubs/whitesox ‘breakdown’ on fox where they pointed out that the two sides of the city were seperated ‘by baseball loyalty, culturally, and possibly even economically’? right.

  7. Hi All – this is the new URL for the Puma Report: pumareport.blogspot.com. Please change all your sidebars accordingly.

    Did anyone else hear Joe Buck say that “they’re celebrating in the Robert Taylor housing projects tonight” after Game Four eneded?

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