I’ll level with you, these bags weren’t designed for tacos

i never thought i’d spend any part of a sunday afternoon belittling myself because i didn’t have the courage of my convictions to buy 400-thread count queen sized sheets off the back of a pickup truck at an outdoor flea market.

according to the new york times, the lady who wrote the jerky book about how some people are bad at punctuation is now writing a book about how no one has any manners anymore. which is too bad, because it sounds like it’s exactly the book i want to write except not overtly fictional (novels of manners squiggly = novel about manners. this all is all rooted in the fact that, in shared human experience (not just housecleaning) the person with the higher standards always loses (scm’s theory).

joke i did not make up:
guy walks into a forehead store. he says, mind if eyebrows?

things i am no longer interested in:
numerology
beer
michael vick
buttermilk

issues i am confronting in year 24:
poor circulation
random, transient solar-wind-caused lower lumbar pain

current reading projects
Wake Up Sir by Jonathan Ames
funny, softbatch novel about writing (excusable indulgence? ppl need to get better about obscuring how all their art is just about their struggle for personal expression. i mean, if it’s a novel about how hard it is to be a novelist, at least make it about how hard it is to be a travelling jewish salesman in 1906 dublin. wait). stop, back to this book: deeply funny, very light novel about being a drunkard writer which is weirdly, unexpectedly derailed and almost ruined by a 15-page god awful deviant sex scene. there’s nothing wrong with deviant sex, there’s nothing wrong with eroticism in the narrative arts, except i was lying about the first two parts of this sentence. still, good for Jonathan Ames, he wrote a novel and i enjoyed it until he decided he was too good to conform to my developing neocounterreformatory Rules for Not Talking About Certain Things Unless You Do It in a Hard-to-Define-Way. which is where i would finally redeem my several-month old attempt/vow to talk about JM Coetzee. which i’m not here to do. i bought a leather wallet with the san francisco 49ers logo imprinted on it. i chose this over alabama, univ of louisville and mid-90s vintage phoenix suns. next time i might buy a spiderman mask.

2 thoughts on “I’ll level with you, these bags weren’t designed for tacos”

  1. I kinda thought I might want to read Wake Up Sir. Does it have a lot of freaky sex? I read Ames’ first novel, I Pass Like Night, and the point was I, JONATHAN AMES, HAVE PARENTS WHO WISH I WOULD JUST GET A REAL JOB. ALSO: HOOKERS. Is this the same thing?

    On a somewhat related note, I always want to write the title as I Pass Like Wind. Spinal Tap damage, I guess.

  2. Wake Up Sir is good all the way up until the arrival of the odd sex scene in the last 40 pages. the point might still be that jonathan ames’ parents wish he would have not been an english major, but i recommend all pre-sex page scenes. maybe it’s a metajoke about how he felt like his novel needed sexing up. it’s odd, is what it is.

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