they gave me oranges and cigarettes

just got done with Blood Meridian. i think some of it went through my ears, and other bits of it went straight into a file that i think most people aren’t supposed to have open on their desk (files like “america is interrupted pageant of shame and hatred”). not really sure what to compare this to, in terms of cars or positions on a basketball team or bob dylan records. it’s likely the handiwork of an angry, dyspeptic genius. i want to subscribe with two hands to the Blood Meridian pamphlet but i can’t imagine what that pamphlet would say, other than “you can be the last man living if you play the right way, but eventually the giant naked guy will find you.” are there McCarthy books better/comparably good to this? if so i would like to hear about them. if there was maybe one that was less good but had slightly more of the weird humor (buzzards riding down a river on a dead man’s back), could someone tell me. this book ran my life. felt like getting that out there. i will try to get to providing regular mushmouthed assessments of life at year 25 and strange pictures of domestic sightings of darth vader for you all although i am in the process of sorting out life decisions that don’t seem terrible pressing at the moment but are actually extremely pressing all the time everyday daily.

when i was in college, someone told me that the five years after college are the worst time of your life; before you figure out one or all of things (job money family girls drugs, which way to wear your pants or whatever). later on someone else said that it was more like ten years, the bad part. someone else also told me that life is bad pretty much the whole way out from here. actually more than one person has told me that. its not at all clear why i would respect the opinions stated above, since i have a hard time taking anything seriously unless it’s in a novel. maybe that has something to do with it. maybe i should get a dog or a oxycontin habit to keep me busy. i dunno. baseball on now, i have to go.

2 thoughts on “they gave me oranges and cigarettes”

  1. It might be worth establishing a serious line of inquiry as to whether the previous 25 years have been good before you go prognosticating the next 5-10-50. This may also provide weird solace in that the suckiness (by and large) of any of the various year-intervals is of a generally acceptable sort. One relevant example/microcosm/parallel might be The Aviator, the Martin Scorsese movie, which is basically garbage (bad garbage) all the way through, but never quite got around to bothering me. Ditto for lots of things.

  2. “The Crossing” is probably the closest to “Blood Meridian” among the Border Trilogy, although it’s mildly redemptive and thus not quite the nonstop display of human degradation. You’d have to go to “No Country for Old Men” for that.

    Should I be as indecisive as I am about working in New York versus Chicago? I mean, are major American cities with harsh winters really that different from each other?

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