mary, come with me to where the olives grow

a dude with a baby lion. they just got out of one of those weird giant-engined racing planes from the 30s and 40s (performed by men in bikini thongs on roller skates). i wanted to write a short story about the flying lion but then i forgot about it. that was 14 months ago, and i have forgotten many other things since.

picture number two is the original, actual death mask of U.S. president james garfield. this was in a box labeled “death mask.” that’s my hand. it’s even creepier than that in 3D. his beard is all TVed up and matted. also, he had tiny woman hands.

this is the inside of a dollhouse. tiny 19th century american guy to world: “you got the wrong house motherfucker. you tell them real estate people we ain’t selling.” (i will buy the first person to identify the source of that quote some banilla yogurt)

plastic horse + jet engine + cell phone = culture

eye contact

other plastic horses, enraged:

fun fact: abe lincoln did an inflammatory ad for canada dry in autumn 1864, the premise of which involved dipping himself in chocolate and telling a puerile joke about being a fudgsicle for halloween.

more to come on all fronts. over 40% of all people are fake-tanned hookers, according to today’s straw poll. if you are a iraqi and you don’t celebrate american thanksgiving, then you get blown up on american thanksgiving, do you A) know B) care that other people are bothered more by it.

collected recommendations from last few weeks:
Keep the Aspidistra Flying :: the saddest shit I ever read, because it’s more or less what the rest of my life is going to be like. i think I’ll go drink some lake water and try to see if i can catch TB.

The Ginger Man (the novel, not the shitty bar in Chicago that Steve got me kicked out of)
Sports coat(s)

5 thoughts on “mary, come with me to where the olives grow”

  1. As a first-hand witness, I argue the final blame for the Ginger Man Ousting should be placed on the sadistic (although hot) bartender who agreed to serve us shots of gin in what I believe were graduated cylinders?

  2. Alls I remember, really, is that I think I inadvertently hit Stephen with the heavy swinging door, and owing to S. being somewhat in his cups at the time, he was loudly, with a great deal of limb-swinging, launched about ten feet back into the bar, then he laid on his back making odd noises while flailing said limbs. I probably didn’t help anything by responding in kind (while staying upright). I think we were all confused by ben adams’ decision to be dating a 50 yr old woman at the time, which had only then been revealed in all in its baroque shittiness.

  3. On another note, that quote is from Back to the Future II, isn’t it? And what’s banilla yogurt? Do I even want to collect this prize?

  4. ding ding ding. you can collect your banilla yogurt next time i see you, which is convertible to one free beer. banilla combines the best of banana and vanilla. it’s delicious, take it on faith.

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