my favorite 5 novels by living authors, via my attorney.
1. Indecision, by Benjamin Kunkel. You ever heard of this cat?
ok, ok, ok, ok. this is pretty halfassed. you can tell because i didn’t put answers to #1 or #2 (OK, i went back and added #1 and #2) because i got distratced by the trailer for the movie wherein Billy Bob Thornton builds a rocket ship in his backyard. Shit is afoot at Banana Nutriment world HQ today. I bought shoes. I am reading salman rushdie on the couch while swearing at my life partner to please please please turn off American Idol because that shit is like eating pencil shavings. on friday i am flying to louisville to be a part of my sister’s wedding (i have to drive from louisville to cincinnati to actually get to the wedding). i am considering law school as a career move. my stomach hurts at the moment. “blunting of emotions”
caveats about my ranking procedure: lists like this are retarded; i specifically avoided any titles that i thought would show up on other people’s lists; i read most of these books, with the exception of the toni morrison, in the past year; the difference between a book written by a dead person and a living person is, um, hard to quantify
1. The Power Broker Robert Caro. i don’t care if it’s supposed to be non-fiction.
2. English, August: An Indian Story by Upanamyu Chatterjee. don’t ask me why. it’s about india!
3. The Ginger Man JP Donleavy. I sort of figured the dude who wrote this had to be dead, since it was written in 1955 or so. But he idn’t. In fact, he’s not really that old, esp for someone who wrote a book in 1955. Anyway, this book rules. As i tried to explain it once, it’s like a book entirely about blazes boylan. except written by an american.
4. Blood Meridian Cormac McCarthy. this is kind of a lifetime achievement award. i still don’t get why All the Pretty Horses is the critical pick to click for McCarthy. this is just better, if way more violent and hatefilled. I haven’t read Suttree, which might secretly be better than this.
5. Song of Solomon,, Toni Morrison. do not fight me. the most butch Toni Morrison novel will fucking bulldoze your craniofacial region. has faulkner-level moments towards the end. this novel broke my head circa 12th grade english class. i still haven’t processed how and why Toni Morrison is from Lorain, OH but it’s all clearly part of the NE Ohio shadow conspiracy to be the most upsetting place in the universe.
honorable mentions: like fifteen elmore leonard novels: i mock your value system (specific love to Swag. ‘disappointment’ doesn’t adequately express how i felt when i couldn’t read this book anymore. more like being a heroin addict and finding out the heroin factory was on strike or something. side note to that, No Country for Old Men is the best elmore leonard novel ever, esp considering it was written by cormac mccarthy. :: Wind-Up Bird Chronicle: it’s now like all the way fashionable to crap on Murakami. Wind-Up Bird Chronicle still does it for me. it’s a fight to get through, and it is, to paraphrase of non-blogging party, more or less just about how unattainable women are a headache, and memory is weird, but i get a psychic charge out of thinking about shitbeating hipsters with a baseball bat then sitting in the bottom of a well :: from hell and or the watchmen by alan moore. they’re still comic books. that’s about the only bad thing i can say about them :: disgrace by JM coetzeee :: three farmers on their way to a dance, richard powers :: libra, don delillo :: IJ gets a tip of the cap. have to respect any novel that required three lifetime’s worth of adderall to write. i deduct a lot from IJ for how fuckign terrible The Broom of the System is.
Novels i suspect would be part of my favorite 5, if i read them:
Clockers by Richard Price :: Gravity’s Rainbow or V, whichever one is less retarded :: that novel about the civil war by that one guy :: various british guys :: margaret atwood :: that other lady, who was in the NYRB a few weeks ago but isn’t this Gilead writer
more cell phone camera photos of animals, this time featuring inflammatory religious content.
cat in a burka: “keep your laws off my body”
this dog has the devil eye.