selling more cakes than carvel

fun fact: i will be in the New York metropole feb 22-25. please press 1 to enjoy coffee and dessert with the author of such blog posts as “fuck you guys” and “special condoms made out of other people’s dicks.” i have no idea how many people besides um, me read this. if you check this more than like every month, leave a comment. COME ON.

also, today is the debut of “fantasy baseball inspired folk art thursdays” on banana nutriment. fuck you guys.


this is from Black Fred McGriff, my fantasy baseball team. i freely admit i stole the “{racial identifier} {guy who is already that racial identifier but not to the fullest}” construction from mike cardarelli. the original black fred mcgriff was ryan howard. he has since been replaced by jarrod saltalamacchia.

9 thoughts on “selling more cakes than carvel”

  1. i read your blog occasionally, but most of the time i have no effin clue what youre saying. ummmm… you use big words 🙂

  2. Still don’t know if I’ll make it down: the Przm’s power steering is fuxored and it may or may not have working brakes. but I might steal this other dude’s car (I hope he isn’t reading this)

  3. I won the respect of an anonymous dude at a bar one time by referring to wes welker as the “white wayne chrebet.” some related concepts for consideration:

    the hispanic rich garces (eddie guardado?)
    the black ryan howard/the black black fred mcgriff (I haven’t come up with one yet but I know he’s out there somewhere.)
    the hispanic black fred mcgriff (david ortiz)

  4. the afro-hispanic gaylord perry was fausto;
    the white jeff kent is chase utley.
    the hispanic a-rod has been bandied about for hanley ramirez but won’t ring true until hanley’s iron glove moves him from short.

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