maybe i am just a dick, but what the cottonelle ads that have recently blanketed the Chicago Transit Authority’s fleet suggest to me is:
“Cottonelle: Almost as good as wiping your ass with a live golden retriever puppy.”
i am currently working (in a sort of Jose Arcadio Buendia sense, as far as reasonable expections of non-permanent non-failure are a thing) on a theory in which Jane Austen and the Velvet Underground maybe occupy the same space in your, ah, spiritual closet or something like that.
special news report: Wolf Shirts seem to have taken a turn for the deviant and threatening. especially confusing is the red cross in the wolf’s eye.