your love keeps drawing me closer

i have been jawing with people about the non-utility of twitter. ordinarily one problem solving principle i would use in such a case would be to deny the conceptual existence of the other person being correct or even just not retarded. in this case, though, in the service of a foulmouthed joke, i am willing to allow that twitter exists and is not exclusively a tool for special needs education (neither of which i think is true). my response to hypertrophic internet shit is as follows: i am going to start a twitter called, pete’s bowel movement almanack, which will consist of updates, which can be beamed out BATCH COMMUNICATION STYLE, to dozens of people via SMS or facebook or like, a federal prisoner database, talking about any craps i took that day and my editorial comments on said craps. Stay tuned for subscription details! UPDATE: Bathroom Update!!

observation: if a young adult dude in say the 1890s went around having a tv show or general lifestyle foreskin the entire substance of which was “Hey remember all those kids’ songs and books and shit that we were mad into in the late 1870s and early 1880s? THAT SHIT WAS THE BEST I LOVE THE (18)70s!!!!!!” he would have been drowned in the nearest septic tank and probably had his various body parts scattered to the four winds, and his penis ground into dust and fed to chickens. i allow for various changes caused by technology and mass culture and two world wars etc but now, people get paid to make unfunny observations along the lines of “I TOTALLY REMEMBER METROID” or “I WANTED TO BANG PEOPLE EVEN WHEN I WAS A YOUNGER MAN WHO HAD NEVER BANGED”. what i am saying is, grind those people up and feed them to chickens. quoth the don, making motherfuckers nostalgic and making motherfuckers pay attention, totally different biological processes.

am undertaking a summertime re-read of Moby-Dick, get up ons.

Also, I’d like to announce my first micro-capital campaign. Please stay tuned for information about how you can donate to the Help a Dude Get Rockwell Kent Illustrations from Moby-Dick Tattooed on His Arm fund.

WOLF SHIRT END TIMES: Full upper-body wolf costume

6 thoughts on “your love keeps drawing me closer”

  1. and then eat the chickens

    I got five on it, but only in the mark ecko “permanent loan” sense

  2. So that’s what’s polluting my Twitter Home…My prediction is that if you keep this up, you’ll get tons of followers and once Twitter starts allowing you to monetize your Tweet with ads, all of the laxative companies will by adspace on your site. You’ll be a rich man…

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