no one wants an alien

energy bar review installment 002

Met-Rx Big 100 Colossal Meal Replacement Bar, Peanut Butter-Pretzel format

having consumed one of the other flavors of this specific kind of gross workout-freak food last week, I decided to never eat them again. But then I saw there was a flavor with whole pretzels embedded in it like rubies so I bought one. It was terrible but it did look cool. Do not eat unless you are desperate or have some kind of metabolic disorder where there is a literally a fire in your stomach and you have to throw dense wads of matter into it constantly to avoid baking yourself or just exploding or something.

items found and mostly discarded during desultory housecleaning, 9/11/11

:: Ticket for Continental Airlines flight 1126 from EWR–>MDW, July 4, 2006

It was a very clear night, and you could see July 4th fireworks going off all across the country for most of the flight. Actual non-forgettable visual experience, top five in life, in all honesty. Reaffirmed a personal article of faith: always, always get window seat.

:: 3/31/2008 5:02 PM credit card receipt for $14.12 for copy of William Vollmann’s ARGALL from Powell’s on 57th in Chicago, found at page 15 of William Vollmann’s ARGALL.
I was broke then and had an inchoate plan of moving away from Chicago to achieve critical distance on my mid-twenties (and because I was bored at work). I am broke now and have scaled-back inchoate plans of purchasing a stairmaster or maybe only eating carrots and brown rice for the rest of my life.

:: Bookstore bookmarks:
– St. Mark’s Bookshop, 31 Third Ave, NY, NY
Currently circulating a petition asking that shop’s landlord lower monthly rent, on the basic premise that “bookstores are nice.”
– Borders(R) Cleveland Area Stores
Chain went out of business earlier this year.
– Citybooks, 1854 Coventry Road, Cleveland Hts., OH
I thought this bookstore had a different name. If this isn’t the same store that used to be called Mac’s Paperbacks then I am not sure if I have ever been in this store.
– Strand, 828 Bway, NY, NY
Still there. They have since upped their “miles of books” claim. I have resolved my longstanding prejudice about people with Strand tote bags. One of the 3.5 sentences in this paragraph is a half-lie.
– Unnameable Books, 600 Vanderbilt, Brooklyn NY 11217
This was in the replacement copy of SWAG fka RYAN’S RULES by Elmore Leonard that I bought to replace the one that I gave back to Stephen Witt after borrowing for five years. During those five years, I tried several times to relocate Unnameable Books on foot, which used to be in Park Slope, but moved without much ceremony to Prospect Heights. Since it didn’t really have a name, no one knew what I was talking about when I asked where that bookstore was.

:: Save-the-date postcard for a November 2010 wedding in Puerto Morelos, Mexico involving my stepcousin.
Said wedding was called off approx 1 month after I received this card. I wasn’t going to make it, because I was broke then and I didn’t/don’t have a valid passport.

:: Heavily faded receipt for chicken fajita burrito from Chipotle at 10 E. Jackson, Chicago IL, 3:54 PM, January 27, 2006.
Not sure what I was doing downtown in the middle of the day on a Thursday. I had a 9-to-5 job at that point. Also, said burrito cost $6.17 with tax. Price of Chipotle is increasing way way in advance of real wages at least in my life.

:: Amtrak ticket stub for train #318, Chicago IL to Indianapolis, IN, June 1, 2005.
I think I went to see the Formula 1 race/get out of Chicago. I was extremely unemployed at that time and would not have had any money, so I am guessing Ashley paid for my ticket. Which was only $20, it warrants mention. This train was delayed by a stopped freight for something like 2 hours IIRC.

:: Promotional card to download a sampler from Southern Lord Records, 2008.
Not sure what Southern Lord Records is but the graphic design (and label name) suggests instrumental metal.

:: 1985 Topps football Reggie Camp card, poor condition
This was in unread, yellowed copy of Margaret Atwood/THE HANDMAID’S TALE.

:: Postcard of fresco from chapel of St. Francis at Assisi
Unmailed but written on by college-era girlfriend, delivered by hand as bday communique 2010. It says “29! Shit! Here is a fresco from St. Francis of Assisi’s chapel to cheer you up. Happy birthday [heart] T”

:: Receipt from yupscale sandwich place in Manhattan dated 6/21/2010
It’s itemized, and the items read in entirely “LAMB $9.00 DIET COKE $2.00”