sent from phone (work in progress)

*Sent from phone
*Sent from mobile device
*Sent from mobile home
*Sent from mobility scooter
*Sent from mobile device, please pardon typos
*Sent from mobile device, please pardon suspect motivations
*Sent from mobile device, please pardon bankrupt ideologies
*Sent from mobile device, please pardon ignorance
*Sent from a tiny keyboard by a huge liar
*Sent from phone during ungainly, labored cardio workout; what is that squeaking noise, is it this machine or my body
*Sent from phone during bad date
*Sent from phone during first date leading to eventual marriage of convenience
*Sent during annual sullen audience with horrifyingly aged grandparents
*Sent during annual sullen visitation with horrifyingly young grandchildren
*Sent from subway
*Sent from Subway sandwich shop
*Sent from subconscious
*Sent from corridors of power where I do not belong
*Sent from corridors of powerlessness where I do belong
*Sent from a non-corridor
*Sent from secret laptop only used for porn but got sad and distracted during porn use and started writing work emails
*Sent from the alphanumeric keypad of a landline that isn’t even plugged in
*Sent from a rock at a crossroads that we carve messages into. It is called Phone Rock.
*Sent from heaven
*Sent from phone during marketing meeting; as far as you/they know, this is a really important work email. Actually I am just confirming our date to go paintballing
*Sent from phone during our paintballing date–I am hiding behind a fake tree stump on a saturday to write an email about marketing
*Sent from church–I wrote it in my head while praying. Does not violate separation of church and state even though I am a government employee and I am on work email
*Sent from a government phone, even though I am a priest and thinking about the primary deity right this second
*Sent by a Christian from a secular phone
*Sent by an atheist from a phone service run by zealots
*Sent by a zealot
*Sent from prison (prison has smartphones now)
*Sent by the kid who steals phones
*Sent by America’s first 4G network, owned and operated by Germans
*Sent by a German
*Sent by a German shepherd
*Sent via telepathy from the Marianas Trench
*Sent via telepathy by the Marianas Trench (we are actually a family of subcontinent-sized worms from space that live inside your planet, this ocean abyss is our patio)
*Sent at precise midpoint of destructive four-plus year romantic entanglement
*Sent from neofeudal futurescape
*Sent while cheating on a professional licensing exam
*Sent via stone tablets of Mosaic Law
*Sent via messenger pigeon from a World War I trench, the whole setup is an allegory for the unconquerable distances between human souls
*Sent via passenger pigeon from animal heaven
*Sent from my wedding
*Sent from a wedding
*Sent from your wedding
*Sent from our wedding
*Sent from our funeral
*Not even sent

One thought on “sent from phone (work in progress)”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.