“Hello is this this gambling problem hotline?”
“Yes it is we are listening in a sensitive and non-judgmental way, please tell us what your gambling problem is.”
“So OK my gambling problem is that the CAVEMAN KENO machine next to my video poker has this pterodactyl animation that flies over the screen and makes a super unpleasant screech. I don’t want to move to a different video poker, I have sunk a lot of spiritual and actual capital into this DOUBLE BONUS POKER. You know the machine I’m talking about. The one that is fairly glowing with its intent to cough up a jackpot in this lunar cycle. Right by the escalator up to the buffet area. When this was a department store, before the casino awoke from its thousand-year slumber, this was the perfume counter. This video poker machine has always been here. I’ve never gone up the escalator because of specific fears of what lurks above.”
“Sir or ma’am you are not supposed to call this number for this kind of problem. For pterodactyl problems you have to call the manufacturer.”
“Do you mean the manufacturer of CAVEMAN KENO or the manufacturer of the pterodactyl?
“Actually we mean the manufacturer of you. So God as you understand him her or it.”